Who, me? Welcome once again, dear readers, to Who, Me? where Reg readers like your good self try to soften the blow of the work week with tales of technical mishaps.

This week's hero is a reader we'll regomize as "Bob" who years ago worked on software for container cranes—the huge machines that load and unload shipping containers from giant ships and keep the world's supply chains connected.

Readers can probably guess that time is money in the shipping game, meaning that efficiency improvements or postponement of downtime are valuable – and that a moment's lost productivity means that money goes overboard.

Bob's software was therefore designed to make the cranes more efficient and to reduce maintenance costs.