Alcoholic codependency is when an alcoholic’s addiction is reliant on the actions and behaviors of another person. A codependent relationship between the addict and their enabler allows for a comfortable situation where the addiction is allowed to thrive and grow.

When codependent people search for a way to be “themselves,” they may turn to substances like drugs and alcohol. These substances can relieve stressful symptoms of codependency, but there is an increased risk of the person becoming addicted to or dependent on drugs.

Common codependent behaviors can include:

• Manipulation.
• Emotional bullying.
• Caretaking to the detriment of our own wellness.
• Caregiving.
• Suffocating.
• People-pleasing (ignoring your own needs, then getting frustrated or angry)
• Obsession with a partner.
• Excusing bad or abusive behavior.

Some healthy steps to healing your relationship from codependency include:

1. Start being honest with yourself and your partner.
2. Stop negative thinking.
3. Don’t take things personally.
4. Take breaks.
5. Consider counseling.
6. Rely on peer support.
7. Establish boundaries.

Unfortunately, these relationships can sometimes grow into toxic codependency. If someone in your life is making you feel any of these symptoms, it is time to acknowledge that the relationship might be unhealthy.

Healing from Codependency. The good news is that codependency is a learned behavior, which means it can be unlearned. If you love your partner and want to keep the relationship, you need to heal yourself first and foremost.

A codependent alcoholic relationship is a very specific type of relation wherein one person is addicted to alcohol and his or her partner enables that addiction just so he or she is needed by the alcoholic partner.

Codependency is the fuel that runs many alcoholic family systems. Today the phrase codependency in relationships is used mainly in a negative sense. It is something to be avoided, and if you are codependent then you need to do something about it, break the chains, so to speak.

As long as humans are social beings, need to fall in love, have families, be in societies, mingle with others, have friends and develop various kinds of relationships, codependency will exist. It is an unhealthy codependency that is not desirable.

However, once you add alcohol dependence into the mix it all gets a lot more messy and the consequences become more unpredictable. In an alcoholic family system a codependent spouse or child gets all their self worth and value from the alcoholic. They need the alcoholic to approve of them so they can feel good. What makes an alcoholic feel good?