34 Things You Should Never, Ever Say to a Restaurant Server

Interrupting is typically a rude thing to do. In fact, most of the time interrupting a conversation or disturbing someone when they’re talking isn’t recommended, but there are situations that call for speaking up. There are ways to interrupt that aren’t quite so rude or disruptive.

100 Things Restaurant Waiters Should Never Do

• Do not let anyone enter the restaurant without a warm greeting.
• Do not make a singleton feel bad.
• Never refuse to seat three guests because a fourth has not yet arrived.
• If a table is not ready within a reasonable length of time, offer a free drink and/or amuse-bouche.

• “The customer is always right!” This isn’t going to end well, is it?
• “There’s no price on this.
• “Is this the [insert entree or beverage here]?”
• “My food is too hot.”
• “I better be nice or you’ll spit in my food.”
• “Why don’t you smile more?!”

The best way to handle rudeness is to bite your tongue and respond in a calm, cool manner. Ask the waiter politely to repeat what they said. If the waiter’s rudeness came out of something they said, they may have said something on impulse or made a mistake. It’s less likely they will be rude a second time.

People who are rude to waiters and waitresses behave that way because: they do not stop to think about them as people. they find them easy targets for taking out their frustration (the proverbial power-tripping big-fish-in-small-pond syndrome) it’s all about power psychology.

For instance if the waitress/waiter spends their time trying to get you drunk (with extra quick refills if it is a banquet or perhaps freebies at a restaurant) rather than serving the other guests, or if they take time out to talk to you (instead of doing their job), you should believe that they are flirting with you …

It makes it awkward in a professional sense no matter if you are male or female. If you really want to be noticed, flirt lightly, but allow the person that is working to make the first move. Keep in mind that hitting on customers may put the waitress in a bad position with his/her boss.

Five Simple Rules for Dating a Waiter

1. Let him (or her) know you’re interested. Flirt shamelessly if you think your server is attractive.
2. Recognize the signs that he’s interested.
3. Take advantage of the perks of your newfound relationship.
4. Know when things are going south.
5. Find a new favorite restaurant.

The waitresses get hit on a lot. Having said that, the owner of the restaurant (who is a woman) actually encourages the waitresses to flirt with male customers to get drink sales up.

If you are too shy, leave a note with your number. This doesn’t work all the time, but it is better than not asking for a number at all. If she likes you and she is available, she will give you her number, and if not don’t take it personally. Waitresses get hit by men every day so there is quite a bit of competition!

Waitresses experience difficult working conditions even when they’re not harassed. Few servers have health insurance or other benefits at the workplace, and often can’t afford to take time off when they’re ill. Shifts are erratic at many restaurants, making it difficult for waitresses to arrange child or elder care.

But a new study has found that being a waiter or waitress may be even more stressful than we realized — more so even than being a neurosurgeon (or really any kind of doctor) or a stockbroker, not to mention a teacher, a scientist, an architect, a janitor, a miner or a manual laborer.

10 Must Have Qualities to be a Great Waiter

• Patience. If you want to be a great waiter you want to start by being a patient person.
• Accommodating.
• Speed.
• Memory.
• Concentration on Details.
• Ability to Take Criticism.
• Stamina and Ability to Work for Long Hours.
• Ability to Hide Your Moods.

Waiter/Waitress top skills & proficiencies:

• Basic Math.
• Verbal Communication.
• Customer Service.
• Resolve Conflict.
• Teamwork.
• Persistence.
• High Energy.
• Sell to Customer Needs.

How to be a better waitress: 8 Tips to put the icing on your…

1. Smile and Be Polite.
2. Know your menus.
3. Refrain from lying or embellishing.
4. Stand and deliver.
5. Keep your customers on side.
6. Customers are your priority – don’t make them wait, don’t make them rush.
7. Check twice, serve once.
8. Last but not least…Appearance.

Like any other social interaction, if a server doesn’t offer their name—which they might not do if they’re busy, or just out of personal preference—you can ask for it. I do this with friendly bartenders sometimes. If you remember my name next time you come into the restaurant, that’s totally fine, too.