Traditional Japanese attitudes towards death include a belief in the afterlife. Throughout the history of Japanese culture, people have traditionally believed that when a person dies, their soul lives on in the land of the dead. They could appear as ghosts or spirits when the world of the dead overlaps with our own.

Religion. Cremation in Japan was originally practiced by monks inspired by the Buddha, who gave detailed instructions regarding his own cremation. It was therefore seen as a way of accruing spiritual merit and getting closer to Buddhahood. Cremation also exemplifies the Buddhist teaching of impermanence.

Cremation helps to disperse “pollution” created after a person dies and to move the spirit into the ancestral realm—from a “polluting spirit” to a “purified ancestral spirit,” as scholar Masao Fujii wrote. During the Kamakura period (1192-1333), the practice of cremation spread from the aristocracy to the people.

Catholics do not favor cremation because they believe in resurrection of the body after death. They follow the custom of burying the dead, as Jesus Christ was buried in a tomb. Nevertheless, the attitude of the Church has changed in the recent years.

goshuushousama desu

Koden (香典) is a term to refer to a gift of money offered to the dead at a Buddhist funeral.

The Best Things to Say to Someone in Grief

• I am so sorry for your loss.
• I wish I had the right words, just know I care.
• I don’t know how you feel, but I am here to help in any way I can.
• You and your loved one will be in my thoughts and prayers.
• My favorite memory of your loved one is…
• I am always just a phone call away.

Lilys and chrysanthemums in yellow and white are appropriate choices. In Japanese culture “koden” is a more appropriate sympathy expression than flowers. Koden is a monetary gift given to help alleviate funeral expenses. Large funeral wreaths called “hanawa” may also be sent.

– If, for example, you cannot attend the funeral or wake for whatever reason, always inform the bereaved the reason for not being able to attend, and if they accept anything in lieu of not attending. Do not send condolence flowers, as they are considered inappropriate in most cases.

Held as soon as possible after death, a Japanese wake is called tsuya (通夜), lit. “passing the night”. All funeral guests wear black: men wear black suits with white shirts and black ties, and women wear either black dresses or black kimono.

As a rule of thumb, the closer you are to the deceased, the more money you may feel obligated to give, but anywhere between 5,000 yen to 30,000 yen should be an ideal budget.

of the deceased is turned upside down on the fiftieth anniversary of death. In and through these various actions individual identity is said to disappear and the deceased is incorporated into the collective body of ancestors, being reborn as a guard- ian spirit or god.

What is it that Japanese people do when they go to a Japanese cemetery? The relatives that visit the cemetery are the ones who typically clean the grave. They bring with them a bucket and a dipper, and pour water in order to wash the body of the family gravestone as shown in the picture above.

If you need something more versatile that can be used in conversation or in written correspondence, then you can use お悔やみ申し上げます (O-kuyami mōshiagemasu, “I offer my condolences”). An equivalent written-only version is 哀悼の意を表します (Aitō no i o hyō shimasu, “I express my condolences”).

Four (4) is 四 (shi, pronounced “shee”). Because this word sounds like the Japanese word for death, the alternate pronunciation yon is also used – especially when talking about people.

Example condolence messages

1. My/our condolences on the passing of your father/mother/friend.
2. Please accept our sincerest condolences.
3. I was so sad to hear of your loss.
4. My heartfelt condolences on your loss.
5. [insert name] will never be forgotten.
6. The ones we love are never gone; they live within our hearts.

‘I’m Sorry for Your Loss’ Alternatives to Say to a Friend

• “I’ve been thinking about you often.”
• “I’m so sorry you’re going through this.”
• “How can I help you?”
• “I’m here whenever you need me.”
• “I’m sorry.”
• “I love you.”
• “I’m glad we have each other for support.”
• “You are important to me.”

Immediate Personal Condolences

1. I’m so sorry to hear of your loss.
2. I’m stunned by this news.
3. My heart aches to hear this news.
4. I love you and I’m here for you.
5. Please know that your friends love you and are here for you.
6. I’m so sorry.
7. My deepest sympathies to you and your family.
8. God bless you and your family.

Sympathy Message for Boss Whose Father Died

• “We wanted to offer our condolences for the loss of your father. We wish you and your family peace and comfort during this difficult time.”
• “May God’s peace and love lift you from sorrow.
• “All of us send you our deepest sympathies for your loss.

Expressing Condolences in English

1. I am so sorry to hear about your loss.
2. I was heartbroken by this sad news.
3. I will never forget when he/she… (share a memory using the past tense verb)
4. You were such a dedicated friend/mother/sister to ______________ (name).

A condolence is a feeling of sympathy. When used in the singular form it is usually to describe a letter if condolence, or a condolence card. When you express your feelings they are most always plural. A card of ‘condolence’ is okay, but it is always ‘Accept my condolences’.

At the end of the day, something as simple as “I’m so sorry for your loss” or “I’m so sad for you and your family, please accept my deepest condolences” is always appropriate. But you might want to offer something a little deeper than that, especially if you are close to the bereaved.

Condolences sentence example

1. He expressed condolences to all those affected by the bombing.
2. We convey our sincerest condolences to their family, friends and community.
3. My sincerest condolences to you and your family.
4. Please accept our condolences on the passing of your brother.

11 Answers. What is your problem with condolence? It does not only apply to grief of death, but of any severe suffering. Its origins are similar to sympathy and compassion, all meaning essentially to suffer together (or as the commenter said “I feel your pain.”)

“Sending healing prayers and comforting hugs. I am so sorry for your loss.” “With deepest sympathy as you remember Robert.” “I was saddened to hear that your grandfather passed away.